


settle down with me

by eberbae (dustyjournal), remembermyfic



Series: alter!verse [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Animal Transformation, Cuddling, Elimination Angst, F/M, Fluff, M/M, fox!Ryan, the most obvious crush known to man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:42:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustyjournal/pseuds/eberbae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/remembermyfic/pseuds/remembermyfic
Summary: Ryan feels it the second the media clears out. It’s an itch under his skin, twitchy and anxious. He knows what it means and rolls his shoulders against it. Not here. Not yet.(Set after Game 7 in Anaheim).





	settle down with me

**Author's Note:**

> As you can probably guess, there was a breakup between the last fic and this one. (What can I say, I live for angst).
> 
> For context, please see the notes of the previous fic.

Ryan feels it the second the media clears out. It’s an itch under his skin, twitchy and anxious. He knows what it means and rolls his shoulders against it. Not here. Not yet.

Connor’s leg is twitching on the bench beside him as he meticulously tucks away his pads, his guards, his bits and pieces. Ryan… doesn’t. He’ll shove it all in his bag in a minute. He just…

Shower, he thinks. He needs to shower.

He goes through his routine in a daze. He’s… disappointed. He’s not sad, not really, and not mad. He’s had a good season, he knows it, but he’s never felt this. They’ve been eliminated from the Stanley Cup playoffs. It’s surreal.

It isn’t until he climbs on the bus that it comes rushing back, the itch, the need. He passes Connor curling into Leon, Ebs already on the phone with Lauren. He makes his way back, back, doesn’t quite know what he’s looking for until he catches Oscar’s gaze and watches it flick to the empty seat across the aisle.

The seat beside Adam.

It’s a bad idea. Ryan’s been fighting… something with Adam for so long and when he’s like this, shaky and vulnerable, he knows it’s the worst idea in the world. But he sits down anyway, tries to relax against the seat when Adam is right there, and so close. He can’t. He knows he can’t, and only part of it is Adam.

“You couldn’t have done better,” Adam says, once the door’s closed and the bus is just pulling away from the Honda Centre. “You’ve had a good season.”

Ryan doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to. It’s one of his favourite things about Adam: the way he doesn’t expect more than Ryan’s ever willing to give. He hasn’t had that in forever - since he and Taylor and Jordan… well, they’re not anymore, but it feels pretty close. Adam hums, reaches into his pocket and tugs out his earbuds.

“I have a new playlist,” he says, and offers him an earbud. Like he knows. He probably does. Adam’s a talker by nature, but he’s learned to recognize when that’s not what Ryan needs. Ryan doesn’t know if it’s the way his fingers twitch against his leg or if it’s something in his face that betrays just how antsy he feels, but Ryan accepts the earbud anyway. He lets himself get lost in the music, closes his eyes and maybe leans into Adam just a little.

He jolts when the bus pulls to a stop at the front of the hotel, blinks his eyes open. Oscar leans over, nudges him. “We’re going to Davo’s.”

There’s an implicit question in it and Ryan thinks for a second, then two. He knows not everyone will go, that Jordan will probably stay on with Lauren for a while, that Looch is going to want to go call his kids - he calls them ‘cubs’ sometimes, like the team needs a reminder of his giant bear form - so not everyone will be there. But he is an A and he has a responsibility…

“We’ll pass,” Adam says and Ryan looks over. Adam offers a little smile. “Come to mine.”

Ryan’s nodding before he knows what he’s doing, weirdly helpless with it. It’s a parade of them getting off the bus, crowding the lobby, so much so that Ryan doesn’t realize Jordan’s popped up beside him until he feels a nudge against his arm. Jordan doesn’t have to say anything for Ryan to know what he’s doing. They’ve always been tuned to each other, even after the breakup.

Ryan shakes his head, subtly but there. Jordan’s always been there and Ryan appreciates it more than words can express, but he doesn’t need it. Not from Jordan tonight. Still, his presence helps Ryan take a slow, deep breath, pushes the twitching need to just…

It helps, is the point.

They break apart in easy groups with Nursey, Connor, and Leon gathering up two tiny puppies Ryan belatedly realizes are Caggs and Benning - and how had he not noticed them changing, they’re _puppies_ for fuck’s sake - Oscar and Kris have their heads bent together, like they’re already strategizing for next season and Jordan floats their way, steps into the elevator with the pair of them and Looch. Adam steers him that way too, onto the same elevator and then down the hall to his room.

Ryan’s phone chirps and he looks down at Jordan’s text: _not about changing,_ it says, _you know you can. not what i wanted to know._

Ryan blushes, can’t keep himself from doing it even as he follows Adam into his room. _I’m good_ , he sends back,  _don’t worry._

What he gets back is a little blue heart and it makes Ryan smile. He’s so glad to have Jordan.

“You coming in?”

Ryan looks up from his phone absently, “Yeah just waiting for…” Except when he turns around, no one’s there. “Klef.”

“Davo’s,” Adam says easily. “You can put it away now, alternate captain.”

Ryan blushes embarrassingly, the heat all up his neck. “Right.”

The thing is, this…. Feels like something. It feels like something more than just teammates and maybe it’s because Ryan still can’t get rid of that damn itch, the need to just… not be human for a while, or if it’s just about Adam. It’s not like his crush has been particularly obvious, he thinks, but the way Adam’s watching him - _watching_ him - alone in his hotel room…

“You want TV or music,” Adam asks softly, settling on the end of one of the beds. It’s soft and gentle, like he doesn’t care either way. Ryan swallows. He doesn’t either, not really, not if…

“Can I change?” It’s awkwardly blurted out because Ryan’s just… a mess. He’s a mess. Eliminated from the playoffs and alone with the guy he’s been crushing on all season and…

“Hey. Hey.”

Ryan swallows and steps in, lets Adam reach for him. Adam tugs him in further, until Ryan has to climb on the bed to follow where Adam’s shuffling back against the pillows. “Is this-”

“Ryan.”

So Ryan takes a deep breath and goes, lets himself lie down right there, curl into the way Adam’s opening up for him. One of his hands ends up curled in Adam’s shirt, and he lets himself close his eyes.

It’s a seamless transition in a way it’s never been, or at least, hasn’t been since he’d had Taylor and Jordan. One minute, Ryan knows he’s human, the next he’s a fox. He blinks his eyes open, smaller now and tangled in his own shirt. He starts to thrash, and hears fabric rip before Adam’s chuckle permeates his mind.

“Slow down, Nuge. Hey, let me help.”

He lashes out, snaps his jaw before Adam literally clamps a hand over his squirming body.

“You’re okay,” he repeats. “Just stay still for a second. You’re fine.”

So Ryan stills, and a few moments later, he’s free again, Adam’s careful fingers brushing away the fabric. He’s smiling when Ryan looks up, a little indulgent and warm.

“There you go.”

Ryan nuzzles his hand in thanks and apology, licks at his fingers until Adam’s chuckling and trying to scratch at his ears. It’s one of Ryan’s favourite games and he ducks and dodges Adam’s hand, lets Adam catch him every few minutes just to get a good scratch under his chin or behind his ears. It escalates from there until Ryan’s running little laps around the bed, dodging Adam’s hands and pouncing on his chest. Adam tries to hold him down, his laughter quiet and amusement so painfully obvious, but Ryan wiggles away, leaps to the other bed. When Adam doesn’t chase him, he does it again, and again.

Eventually, Adam gets him in both arms and pins him to his chest. Ryan wiggles to no avail and he tries harder because he just wants to _play_.

“Come on, you little shit,” Adam says, but it sounds like affection and an endearment wrapped together. “Just sit still.”

Ryan doesn’t want to, though. He wants to push and jump and run. But Adam’s arms are heavy over his back, holding him down, holding him steady and Ryan feels some of the anxiety drain out of him, feels the tension slip away. He drops his head to Adam’s chest, curls his legs beneath him. Adam is broad and Ryan fits on his chest without issue. He likes it.

He likes it more when Adam’s hand starts sliding over his back, long smooth strokes that make Ryan’s limbs weak.

“Better,” Adam murmurs, and tips his head back into the pillows. Ryan doesn’t think about leaning up and licking Adam’s chin gently, nuzzling at his neck. Adam lets him, strokes his back, scratches his ears. Ryan’s heart is thumping in the best way and he snuggles in, settles down. They’re fading to sleep, the excitement and pressure and emotional roller coaster of losing a game seven catching up to them.

“Thank you,” Adam says, drowsy and warm. Ryan nudges at his chin, confused, because he hasn’t done anything. He hasn’t been doing anything, hasn’t been scoring, couldn’t in the playoffs, couldn’t keep the Ducks from scoring either and-

“For being you.”

Ryan goes still. It must be scary still, because Adam lifts his head, strokes his ears. It’s not a bad thing, just… different. Ryan’s spent so long trying to be better, to fight harder because the Oilers - because _Edmonton_ \- has needed him to. He’s always had to push to change. And here’s Adam, nonchalantly telling him that this is good. Ryan is good.

“I’m serious,” Adam says, like he can feel all of Ryan’s emotions. Ryan can’t reply, not verbally anyway, so he shuffles up Adam’s chest and curls his tail around his back legs. His head nuzzles right into Adam’s neck and stays there, warm and close.

They fall asleep like that, just drift off, comforted and safe. Enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit us on tumblr at [remembermyfic](http://remembermyfic.tumblr.com/) and [eberbae](http://eberbae.tumblr.com)!


End file.
